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06 June 2005 @ 01:54 am
((Continued from here))

After we had gotten things sorted out with the girl, and taken her home, we were now on our way home. Her parents had been demanding to know what had happened, and luckily, we had managed to come up with a pathetic, yet somehow believable, story for her parents.

Now, as I pulled the car back into the back of the hotel, I glanced around the car, meeting the gazes of the others. Cordelia looked slightly pale and tired, but... that was kind of expected. After all, she had just learned that one of her closest friends was dead, and the other closest friend hadn't told her.

Flinching at that thought, I shifted my gaze to Faith, who still looked a little tired and distracted; I still wasn't sure how she had the visions, but we needed to do something about that. After all... I wasn't sure how long a human could handle them, and she was already the Slayer... how much more did she need? Wesley still looked worn out, and I sighed. We were all doing so well... I couldn't even begin to imagine how badly I looked after these past few days; after all, I had no reflection to even know what I looked like on a good day, and I hadn't slept much, in addition to learning that one of my few friends had been killed.

I pulled the car to a stop, then after a moment of silence, turned around and muttered quietly, "We're here..." Briefly, I wondered what next. Sleep would probably be a good first step, before we started trying to both find Spike, and find out more about the visions. Sleep, and... food. I glanced at everyone again as they started to get out of the car, and with a pang, realized that this would be the first time I had cooked breakfast for other people, without... without Doyle.

"Do you guys want something to eat?" I asked as we entered the hotel. And what a ragged band of heroes we made- tired, broken, confused, and... hungry, I realized, as I heard someone's stomach growl. Then, as I realized that since it was a request, they could just as easily all leave, I added, "I mean... stay. I want you to stay."

Right now, I just didn't want to be left alone. Being alone right now meant that I would start 'brooding' as Cordelia and Doyle had always said. Doyle had teased me so much about that... I really didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts just now. It was too much.

((Open to Wesley and Faith))
 
 
Current Mood: draineddrained and withdrawn
 
 
12 May 2005 @ 12:39 am
Didn't even see the floor as I hit it, mostly I could just see her. Naw, it wasn't even seein' her. I was seein' through her. Layin' on the cold pavement and cryin' my her eyes out. Screamin' so loud, beggin' her to let me out of her fucking head as some nasty slimy lookin' scaly guy stood over her chanting. Tried to get her to move to do anything but she wasn't strong like me. Run of the mill chick, no super powers and she wouldn't stop screaming. She was screaming, I was screaming silently tryin' to get free. What the hell was this? The demon lashed out with a meaty paw and swiped claws against the flesh of her arm and suddenly....I was back on the floor again. Blinking I looked up and realized I was in Cordelia's arms, Angel crouching down next to me and Wes lookin' all shady a few feet away.

"What did you see?" Angel asked me, kneelin' down beside me. Like he knew exactly what was happenin' to me. How did he know that? Did he do this to me? Was about to open my mouth and ask him what the hell was goin' on when suddenly something shifted again. I was still looking at Angel, but his back was to me. Crouched down over something on the stairway. What the fuck?

"There's this girl. I don't know where, it was cold I think an alleyway or something? Dude, I dunno....but there was this wicked nasty lookin' demon and he was standin' over her and.....hey. Hey. Are you even listenin' to me?" Frowning I took a few steps forward and went to put my hand on Angel's arm when I saw what he and Cordy were still crouched down over. Me. I was still layin' in that same spot, and oh shit. Was I dead? Did I kick the bucket? What the fuck? For a second I was almost amazed at how pissed off that made me when a few weeks ago I was beggin' Soul Boy to do me in. But...that was then and this was now and...seriously. Was I dead?

"Shit." I cursed, biting down lightly on my thumbnail and pacing around the stairwell, from Wesley back to Cordy and Angel again.

"And it's not my fault- I don't know why she's having a vision." I snapped my head back to Angel as he picked my still form up off the ground and looked at Cordelia.

"A vision? That's what this is? What does that mean?!" I asked, following Angel and Wesley up the stairs and into Angel's room. "Yo! Hello!!! What does that fucking mean?!" I yelled, two hands curling up into small fists at my sides. Fuck! Why couldn't they see me? At least I knew I wasn't dead, since I could see myself breathing. They'd know if I was dead, I wasn't dead. Then what was it? A vision? Could someone please fill a girl in? "Cordelia." I sat down beside her as she sat down beside...well, me on the bed. "Cor, come on. You gotta hear me, I'm right here!"

"Hey! You shouldn't shake her, I mean... what if it was a brain damaging vision? Shake her more and she is just more brain damaged." Cordelia said, and I turned with a frown to see Angel gently shaking me back and forth tryin' to wake me up. If I ended up with brain damage I was gonna be seriously pissed! How many of these fucking comas did I have to go through? Shit! Least this time I didn't get stabbed. Course I wasn't sure if I preferred the stab wound or not at this point.

With a sigh I stood up and walked over to Wes. "Wes. Please, see me, fucking hear me! I need you!" I stood in front of him with my arms crossed over my chest. He was my watcher, and okay a really shitty watcher who got tortured almost to death by his really shitty slayer. But I needed him to like...I dunno, figure it out. "You're wicked smart, Wes. You know I'm here. Please. I'm sorry." Alright, so not the best time to apologize but I was gettin' pretty desperate.

You know where to...uh...reach me." He said, lookin' straight past me to Angel and Cordelia before turnin' his back to me.

"I'm right h-" Suddenly I was cut off as a hand clamped around my arm and I got yanked right through the wall.


Shaking my head I realized my ass was laid out on a cold floor, nothin' but high white walls surrounding me. Bright walls, so bright I almost had to squint for a sec while I got back up to my feet. With wide eyes, I turned around slightly and glanced up at the ceiling. No ceiling, just more bright blinding whiteness. Heard something behind me and turned around just in time to see two....people? Whatever they were, they were paler than me after an eight month coma and had freaky blue hair. Damn. A man and a woman, or at least that was what they looked like to me.

"Yo. What the fuck is goin' on here?" I demanded, feelin' my muscles twitch and tense up.

"This one is damaged." The guy said as he took a few steps closer to me before turnin' to look back to the other one.

"As are all mortal beings." She replied, circling around me a couple times before standing right in front of me. Thought about lashin' out and deckin' her one for callin' me...damaged. Like it wasn't true, right?

"What's goin' on? We gonna talk in rhymes all day or is someone gonna break it down for me sometime today?" Wanted to smack her one good, but there was something in her eyes that sent shivers down my spine. Kinda shivers I hadn't felt since gettin' stabbed in the gut. Thanks alot, B. Sure you'll cry at my funeral. "Am I dead? Is this some kinda whack afterlife or something?"

"You're not dead yet, slayer." He said as he stepped up behind his sister and I quickly took a step back. "Continue on your path and you will perish like all mortal beings, sooner in your case."

"My path?" Plain English would be real nice right about now.

"You betray your calling and the powers that be have given you a second to bind you to our cause." Her blue eyes burned into me before she turned her back to me and both of 'em started walkin' away. What? Second calling? Cause? Maybe I was a wicked retard or something but I just couldn't figure out what the hell they were tryin' to tell me.

"Look!" I announced angrily, causing them both to turn back and stare at me with pale eyes. "I'm not bound to anything. What is goin' on? Why am I here? I'm not bound to jack, Twinkie. Not til someone starts tellin' me what the hell is goin' on."

"You cannot escape it. You were a reluctant fallen warrior and now you feel all of the pain and torment of all people." With that she marched up to me and before I could pull back, the palm of her hand was pressed against my forehead.

With a gasp I fell backwards, lettin' my back hit the cold floor. 'Cept it wasn't a floor, I was in that alleyway again. That chick cryin' and screamin' and I was stuck inside her head. I could feel all of it, the fear, the red angry scrapes along her arms as I looked around through her eyes. She scanned the wall, brick, looked pretty dingy with something on it. What was that? Welcome to Charlie's. Welcome to Charlie's? Some kinda bar or something.

Breathing hard I shot straight up, and looked around for a minute. Back. My body. Oh God, I wasn't dead at all. They fucking cursed me with something! Running my hands along my legs just to make sure it was really me, I swung my legs over the side of Angel's bed. A vision. That was what Angel had called it, and now I could see it. Those eyeballs, man. Couldn't stop starin' at 'em and didn't C say something about her buddy Doyle havin' visions? That was why it had to be the eyes, why I'd had such a creep fascination with them. He had them, he could see the future, he could feel the future. But now he was dead, good ol' Spike took him out and now I had 'em. Got stuck with them cause the ptbs wanted me to play nice. Didn't have to, could just ignore 'em right? Biting down on my lower lip in thought I tried to push that girl, her screamin' and cryin' out of my mind. Fuck me.

Getting up quickly I took the steps two at a time til I was standin' in the office doorway with three pairs of eyes lookin' at me like I had six hundred heads or something. What? We had to gear up and go save the fucking day. Go team. Isn't that what these hero types did? Well, Cordy and Angel anyway. Wes really wasn't a hero.

"Where's Charlie's?" I demanded, waitin' for them to answer me as Angel raised an eyebrow so high I thought it might pop off his big shiny forehead. "The bar?" I finally clarified waitin' for those big shiny hero types to snap into action like in the movies. "We gotta go there...right now."
 
 
All right, if I was any more bored I think I would die – again. Spike is off doing who the fuck knows what, with who knows and I’m stuck here in this damn shit-hole apartment with nothing to do.

I tell him I want to find us another place, why do the little goodie goodies get to live in a fucking hotel while we live in this damn hole in the wall? Because we don’t pay rent is what he says.

Fuck that shit, kill someone and get the rent money that way, I don’t care. I don’t want to live in this hellhole anymore. It’s nasty and gross and if I think that then it is. I mean I’m dead for hell’s sake.

He’s really pissing me off lately with his cold and colder attitude. One minute we’re having this bonding moment or whatever the fuck and then the next I’m just his little fuck toy.

Ok, not that I mind that at all but I told him I had feelings for him and he just ignored me. Fuckin’ hell, I could have stayed mortal to get ignored. I didn’t need him doing it too.

I hated his avoiding attitude and I was so tempted to go and just turn that hell of a fine looking lawyer and making myself a pet, having Spike go screw himself with Mr. Sunshine for all I care, and go on my merry way.

But I didn’t, and I don’t. So as usual, Tara Maclay gets the short end of the stick.

Trouble, that’s what I need. Stir up some trouble. Nah, maybe I’ll go annoy that lawyer chick that had me killed. She’d be fun to fuck around with.

A slow smile crossed my lips as I got up and got dressed – I didn’t wear much around the apartment, I didn’t see much need – I slipped on a pair of thigh high leather boots before slipping on a long ‘good girl’ dress.

Running my fingers through my hair I headed out the door, making a little stop to the local magick shop that was stupid enough to stay open after dark and picking up a few supplies for my trip.

It wasn’t long before I was standing outside the front doors. It was quiet outside and I soon I was mixing the few ingredients I needed, putting them in the small pouch and slipping the pouch into the waistband of my panties. I knew they’d come in handy sometime.

Without much effort I walked into the building, undetected by their vampire sensors, that just made me happy. Not to mention it got me to forget about that asshole that sitred me. I looked like some sweet little intern who was going up to her boss. Nobody made notice that I maybe a bit on the pale side but then again lawyers aren’t always smart.

I headed up into the elevator, picking the top floor – anyone with Lilah’s shoes had to be on top – and standing in the corner of the elevator. Some pretty little intern came into the elevator on the fourth floor and I was so tempted to drag her pretty little short skirt into the copy room and have a wonderful little time with her but I had bigger fish to fry for now.

Maybe Lilah will be so kind as to give her to me to take home, a parting gift I guess you would say.

A predatory smile crossed my lips as I headed out of the elevator, casting little miss short skirt a forward full body glance, then headed towards Lilah’s office.

One quick snap of the knob and her door opened, sadly she wasn’t there to meet me, but that’s ok. It just gave me time to make myself comfortable. And I did, at her desk.

Kicking my feet up onto the desk and leaning back as the cool leather of the chair touched the tops of my thighs as the skirt to my dress rode up just a bit, I kept my eye on the door. Won’t she be surprised.

[Open to Lilah]
 
 
Current Mood: mischievousmischievous
 
 
25 April 2005 @ 01:35 am
After Soul Boy and I had tried to track Spike all through the docks, I sorta lost focus of what we were doin' anyway. Sure we hadn't found him, so the whole thing was a bummer from the standpoint of gettin' no payoff. Still, it wasn't like I even knew what I was doin' out there with him. Not like I was part of the team, not like I really gave a shit in the grand scheme of things. Felt bad for some of the stuff I'd done, and then other stuff I didn't feel bad about at all even though I knew that I should. I wanted to ask Angel about it, but he was so pre-occupied with his friend kickin' the bucket I didn't wanna bug him.

Truth was, I was helpin' out for one reason. Well, one really confusing reason with dark hair and long legs. Really, I still felt...confused, ya know? Guessed maybe just bein' away from Sunnydale and around Cordelia and Angel helped clear up my head some. Maybe that was all I needed, to get B out of my system. Step out from under her shadow. 'Cept that theory didn't hold much water considering the minute I got to L.A. I decided cuttin' into Wesley was the new in sport. I wanted to be sorry about it, and I guessed on some levels I was. Then there were other parts of me, even though I knew it was wrong he fucking deserved it. Was gonna just hand me over to the Watcher's Council. And why? Cause I accidently killed someone. Shit. By then I figured I might as well just let go and kill whoever got in my way. Cause by then it was already too late, I was already damned. This was his fault.

And when was I gonna let that anyway? Still tryin' to blame everyone else I'd ever known. Maybe that was why it was easy for Cordy to latch onto me the way that she had. Cause she didn't know. Sure, she got a front row seat for my little rage fest in that apartment. I chained her to a pipe, smacked her around, used her as fucking bait and she still....what? Damn. Girl must be seriously fucked in the head, and it only made me wonder if I broke her. Didn't mean to break her, or maybe I had. Now I sorta felt, responsible wasn't exactly the word but she was mine. More mine than anything else had ever been. It pissed me off that Spike had fucked with her like that. Killed one of her friends, because I didn't want anyone but me screwin' with her. Mine to break or take, and he couldn't have her. I'd kill him.

Lotta things I wanted to ask Angel. Because even though Cordelia was the one who'd been there for me, I figured Angel'd be the one to understand it. Mean, he was a vampire. He'd killed a ton of people, probably way more than me. How did you just, erase it. Wanted to make it go away like it never happened, like some bad dream. But it never went away, just stayed there. And I could remember that whole little speech he'd given me in his mansion after I'd tried to strangle Xander to death. I could see Angel's knuckles turning white on the steering wheel as we drove back to the hotel. I couldn't keep lookin' for Spike because now I was just worried about Cordelia. Spike wanted to mess with Angel and he'd probably go after Cordy next. I mean, that was what I did anyway so I had to figure he'd do the same. Knew Angel wanted to look after Cordelia too but he was hellbent on gettin' the best of Spike. Didn't blame him, I would be too if I actually had friends.

We rode in silence back to the hotel and my mind started to drift back towards the eyeballs. The ones I couldn't take my eyes away from when I'd held them in the lobby. Something was pullin' me back to that one second, and I couldn't figure out what it was. The way my life had been goin' lately there were a thousand little moments that could have been defining for me. Moments that meant so much in the grand scheme of things. But I kept goin' back to that box Spike had left behind. What was it about them?

When we pulled back up in front of the Hyperion, I didn't even both opening the door just put my hand on top of the door and vaulted out of the seat. Easy as nothin', really and I was kinda antsy anyway. Fell into step beside Angel and when we walked in through the front door of the lobby I stopped in my tracks and raised an eyebrow. Wes and Cordelia were near the counter, a bottle of booze restin' on top of it along with some shot glasses. What? Party and no one invited me? Tried to play it cool even though Wesley's presence was makin' me all kinds of nervous. Everytime I glanced at him all I saw was that glimmer of that knife being dragged down his face. Etching my pain into him, wantin' him to never forget me. Now I was sure we'd never forget eachother. Congratulations I win. Except I didn't feel like a winner at all. Second best, right?

Did they know? Cordy looked a little shaken up, but that perma deer in the headlights look was always in her eyes. Wes looked scared too, but I had the feeling that had more to do with me then Doyle. Didn't even realize I had stopped and stared for so long, until Angel gently put a hand on my shoulder and propelled me forward so he could actually get inside too. Oh yeah. Taking a few awkward steps toward them, I looked anywhere but him. Cause it just...I didn't know what else to do. I knew what Cordelia wanted me to do, but it wasn't always about her.

"Hey."
 
 
15 April 2005 @ 08:41 pm
After that whole spell bloody head wound shower deal that we will tell no one about, I decided to check on Wesley. I had gone down in the lobby and it appeared that Angel and Faith had left, or something. No one ever tells me what's going on around here until it's too late and I'm bleeding from some octopus looking memory messing with demon thing. The box that came was sitting on the desk and I glanced in it and backed off with a yelp. Eyeballs? Was it close to Halloween or was one of Angel's friends sending a little hotel warming gift? I swear, demons? No sense of gift giving whatsoever. Who gets someone eyeballs? I shook my head and scribbled down a little note, letting them know I'd gone to check up on Wes and that I'd return before too long. I glanced outside and it was dark, but there were cabs and things to get me around. I grabbed a stake out of the drawer and stuffed it in my purse before heading out and hailing down a cab. I arrived at my place and paid the cabby and promptly got myself inside, me becoming a late night snack from the eyeball giving crowd? Not happening. Ever. I stuck my key in the lock and pushed the door open slowly, seemed quiet.

"Wes?" I asked as I closed and locked the door behind me. I thought I heard the shower running so I headed for the kitchen and grabbed a bottled water from the fridge. Dennis starting waving a pencil about in a wave, it made me smile. I'd missed my little ghost pal. I was also glad to know he wasn't in the shower scrubbing Wes' back, that'd just be... freaky. "Hey Dennis, have you been taking good care of our guest? Did he tell you about the demon they took down?" The pencil began waving frantically and then met a pad of paper, the word 'yes' and 'he could have been harmed,' were scribbled out.

"Always a worry wart, Dennis. He was just fine, of course I did get knocked out and bashed my head wide open." I felt a rush of air behind me and my hair started parting furiously. "Easy, easy! I'm okay, Dennis. Faith fixed me up." Boy did she ever. I let out a cough and suddenly my hand mirror was floating into the kitchen and in front of my face, my cheeks red. I grabbed the mirror and scowled at the air. "Dennis! So nosey, don't you tell a soul anything or so help me. I'll have you exorcized or... something." I heard the water in the bathroom shut off and I grabbed my bottled water and headed into the living room where I sat on my sofa. My nice comfy sofa, I missed this place so much. It was my own private little mecca of fashion and style. Okay I was poor but that didn't mean I lost my taste.

"Wesley, it's Cordy. I'm here, in the livingroom, so don't like freak out or anything." Or come out here naked, although I've always wondered if he was better looking naked than he was a kisser. I arched a brow and smirked, leaning back into the cushion Dennis propped up behind me.

[open to Wesley]
 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
 
04 April 2005 @ 07:52 pm
I was whistling as I walked down the road. A bloody jaunty whistle at that. The look on Angel's face when he saw the eyeballs kept flashing before my eyes, and it made me feel pretty damn happy. Almost got a good down low tingle just from thinking about it. The pain on his face; oh, it was priceless.

I'd never managed that before, you see. To cause pain like that. Oh, I'd punched him a fair few times, and more unpleasant things, but I'd never hurt him, not really. Cuts and bruises fade. I'd never got under his skin; never made his dead, lumpen heart ache or his stomach churn in revulsion. Not like the day when I found him and Dru at it.

Her stockings. Her stockings wrinkled on her white legs.

I shook those thoughts away. Now, now I'd hurt him how he'd hurt me then, the bastard. It was a long time coming, but the revenge felt good.

I figured the cardboard captain would be after me eventually, but for now I wasn't bothered. After running a couple of blocks I had slowed down to a comfortable stroll, smoking my way through a pack of fags and enjoying the warm evening air. My blood lust was on me, but it wasn't hard and raging. It was a gentle sort of hunger, a slow desire. I was going to be a leisurely hunter tonight, picking me out a prime specimen.

I found her in a bondage shop. She was behind the counter, face all whited up and hair jet black, but the hair was coarse and I guessed that underneath it had once been blonde. I smiled at her across the counter and asked to see some of the special products in the glass cabinet, and then I took her.

I took her and I took her and I took her and it was bloody brilliant. She seemed to bleed forever and my mouth was full of her and I was almost sad to drop her to the floor when she gave out at last.
"Fuckin' cordon bleu," I said, blowing her a kiss as I stepped over her body to get something from the $50 and above case. Two birds with one stone, if you like.

I arrived home a little later. The flat was deserted. I chucked Pet's present onto a chair - a collar studded with real diamonds, including little diamond chips on the inside to scrape against her skin. I shivered pleasantly as I thought of the studs pressing into her soft flesh, bleeding for me.

I flung myself down onto the sofa, crossing my hands behind my head and smiling happily up at the ceiling.

I'd had me a real good day.
 
 
I was so focused on the package that Angel had dropped, I barely even registered what was goin' on. Knew Angel was pissed, and that Spike was sorta...what? He'd obviously come here to gloat. But even as Angel jumped Bleach Boy, I didn't lift a finger to help. Just kept starin' at what the box on the floor. When Angel had dropped it, little pieces of gore and blood had dripped to the floor but the eyeballs? They were still inside the box, just starin' at me. Whose were they? I didn't have a clue, but obviously Soul Boy knew 'em. Knew 'em pretty fuckin' well from the way he and Spike were carryin' on.

Finally I tilted my chin up just as Spike sprang back up to his feet. Raisin' an eyebrow, I took a step back as he winked at me before he ran the hell outta there like his pants were on fire. Wuss vampire. But really? I wasn't payin' all that much attention. Soul Boy was pickin' himself up off the ground and I didn't care. His friend had just been chopped up and the eyeballs delivered to him, and I didn't care. It kinda freaked me out. Sure, I was used to not carin' about dead people. But this was a different kinda not caring. Couldn't put my finger on it.

Slowly I walked over to the box still layin' on the ground. Bending over I picked it up and stared down at the mangled bloody eyes starin' back at me. Cuttin' right through me with their blank dead gaze. Something about them....I was totally mezmerized and didn't think I could pull my eyes away if I wanted to. Even as I heard Angel climb up to his feet and approach me slowly. He was grieving, I could practically feel it comin' offa him in waves. But I didn't care. All I could do was stare with morbid fascination down at the box cradled in my hands. I wanted to stick my hand in there, wrap slender fingers around the eyes and squish in the palm of my hand. Wanted to drop the box and run far and fast until I couldn't breathe anymore. All of these things I'd felt before since Cor had managed to convince me to stick 'round these parts, but it'd never been like this before. And I couldn't even really say what it was. I wanted to think it was cause of Angel. Because he was sad, angry, whatever. But it didn't have jack to do with Soul Boy. This was between me and the eyeballs. Like a staring contest that I was destined to lose. I'd be the one to look away first, it was guaranteed.

Finally I pulled my gaze away from the box, and tilted my chin up to look at Angel. His eyes were glazed over and full of something. Didn't really know him all that well, so I didn't wanna assume. Course it was pretty clear I was holdin' the remains of one of his pals. Wondered who it was that got him wound up so tight.

"Friend of yours?" I asked conversationally, willing myself to not look back down at the eyes.

If I didn't look at them, they didn't hold any power over me. Then I was in control, and I didn't have to move onto that next step. Whatever that next step was. Suddenly I really wanted to run. Run upstairs and slam the door shut. Lock it so Cordelia, Angel and everyone else would be shut out. Barricade the door wiht whatever I could find so nothin' could ever get in. Just me. The urge was overwhelming and I thrust the box into Angel's hands before I was forced to look down again.
 
 
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: The Outsider- A Perfect Circle
 
 
08 March 2005 @ 06:11 pm
Waking up is hard to do.Collapse )

So, chess, getting dressed and then work on those translations. And then see what the hell I'm supposed to do with the rest of my life. I mean, just because they needed me for one spell, doesn't mean they'd...need...me. Besides, with Faith being there as well that could become problematic. Back to square one then I guess. Maybe they need a librarian or someone in a museum somewhere. It's worth a try.
 
 
Current Mood: tiredtired
 
 
08 March 2005 @ 08:24 am
As I strolled down the expensive contemporary corridors of Wolfram and Hart, I noticed a new expression on the faces of my co-workers. Not respect: I've had that since my initial job interview (I knocked a competing candidate on the head, tied him up, and stored him in the trunk of his own car until he'd missed his appointment. Fortunately for him I got the job and was able to order Security to let him out... otherwise I'd have had to leave him there. I'm not too big on getting beaten up by cranky competitors.).

Their expressions were more like... quivering terror. Like their balls were trying to crawl back into their abdomens.

It was so awesome. I smiled at everyone I passed, knowing that everyone knew that I, Lilah, was in Holland's good books. Want to piss off the Bright Powers: Call on the divine Ms. M. The Dragon Lady has two pet vampires who will rip out your eyeballs and mail them to your family.

Hee hee.

So when I closed the doors of my office, I poured a celebratory dirty martini and did a little victory song-and-dance bit to the tune of "Lola" by the Kinks. Except the chorus went more like "Li-lah. Li-li-li-lah Li-Lah."

And then I settled down. After all, success would only make me more of a target to the people above me who want to keep me down and the people below me who want my job. Paranoia is an actual survival reflex at Wolfram & Hart.

I'd had some success. The next step was to get some more... Angel Investigations was cut off from the Powers, so they'd hopefully stop messing with our work for a while. I had some time to try and figure who the next big player was, and either a) Destroy them or b) Suborn them. Either way, it was a lot to do, so I called for our newest files and records and started hunting.
 
 
03 March 2005 @ 06:09 pm
Ah, it'd been a grand few days, I thought cheerfully, sitting back in my chair with a smoke and a beer. There'd been a lot of sex, which was good, because frankly in the last few months with Dru it was like getting blood out of a stone trying to get her to sleep with me. Selfish bitch. It wasn't because she wasn't in the mood, either, otherwise she wouldn't have carried on with that Chaos demon. I mean, how could she carry on with something with antlers. Anyway, that's beside the point, which was - I'm getting really quite fond of Tara. Not ready to say that big L word yet, but maybe I will. Not sure I want to give her that much power, though. Let women know you love them and they've got you by the balls - literally as well as figuratively. Maybe it was best just to keep her hanging.

I stubbed out my cigarette and finished my beer. Tara was out. Probably torturing someone. She was a bit put out that I hadn't joined her - went all pouty and sulky - but to be honest, once you're my age the shine goes off the random violence a little. Ok, that's not entirely true - I still enjoy a bit of maiming as much as the next demon - but I can skip it if there's something good on the telly.

Oh, bloody hell. I'm turning into an old man.

I turned the TV off. Angel must know about Doyle now. I was sure my special delivery must have reached him. I wondered what he'd think when Doyle's eye rolled out of his in tray into his lap? The thought amused me. Tara was a good girl, thinking up something like that. True, I thought my photographs had a bit more finesse, but you can't beat a good bit of gore for impact.

I gave Lilah a quick call to let her know that Doyle was dead, and she seemed pretty pleased about that, which is nice to know. Lilah's certainly a pretty piece of flesh. I'd give her a bite any day, though I bet Tara would pull out my tongue if I tried anything like that. I sort of like how the pet gets so jealous. Keeps a man on his toes.

I got up and looked out of the window. It was a beautiful evening; the kind of night that inspired me to write poetry back when I was weak and human. Now I made poetry, although of the wet and brutal kind. I lit up another cigarette and headed outside. Perhaps I would loiter by Angel Investigations and see the grieving scoobies, or whatever the LA version of those white bread Dawson Creekers were called. Yeah, I'd look in on Angel and have me a real good laugh.

((Open to anyone from Angel Investigations!))