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20 November 2005 @ 04:37 pm
Angel with broken wings...  
Things were mostly starting to settle down and by mostly? I meant me. I couldn't speak for everyone and really I was the only one who was suddenly jubilantly happy at the prospect of real acting work. Okay, fine it wasn't exactly the lead in a Blockbuster or even a soap opera but it was something! Everybody had to start somewhere and I'd gotten used to the idea that I was going to have to work my way up in Hollywood. I could start small, a commercial for the latest prescription battling genital herpes. It was just acting! It wasn't like anyone was really going to see those commercials and say to themselves "Hey, that's Cordelia Chase. I didn't know she had herpes." Right? Of course I was right. Besides, the director knew like a ton of people in the business and I was pretty sure he could get my foot in the door. Genital herpes today and my own sitcom tomorrow? I could live with that.


I even finally called Angel after days of not talking to him. He sounded really happy to hear from me and actually listened to me ramble on and on about how fabulous my new job was. It wasn't until the end of the conversation when he quietly asked me if I was going to come back to work. Duh. Like he wasn't lost without me. Between him and Faith and Wes we were all in trouble. Someone needed to be at that hotel to make sure things actually went the way they were supposed to. Like us actually getting paid for helping those hopeless. I told him he didn't have to worry I'd be coming back to work the next day and I did. I went and I smiled and I did all of those things because that's what I do. I was like the glue. Faith and Wes and Angel were all in pieces and I had to hold us all together. I didn't mind, because clearly someone had to do it.

At least I'd finally managed to convince Wesley to stay in town. I didn't know who he thought he was fooling trying to escape. Where was he going to go exactly? He didn't have anybody except for us and okay, maybe Faith did try and torture him to death but at least she was trying. At least it seemed like it was even though I knew it was hard for her. I thought it might be good to get her out of the hotel so she'd been staying with me in my apartment for the last few nights. I wondered if that made Wesley nervous since he was staying just down the hall but I was hoping that he was starting to...I don't know. Get over it probably wasn't the best phrase to use. Deal with it? Spank that inner moppet? I trusted her, or at least enough to share a bed with her nearly every single night. Dennis trusted her which spoke volumes to me but part of me understood that even ghostly types liked to watch some girl on girl action. oh God, now I'm even starting to sound like a skank. I could just hear my friends from Sunnydale now. If they knew I'd moved away to L.A. and instead of become a famous movie star I ended up doing herpes commercials and sleeping with the girl who was the poster child for white trash.

Tonight I was taking my mind off herpes, past lessons in torture and everything else that had been bothering me because tonight I was escaping my crazy life full of demons and other icky things that we never got paid for. It was still mid afternoon, but things were slow at the office so I decided to go home and try on some outfits for going out to the club with Faith later that night. She was out on some assignment but she was going to meet me at home later on in the night so that we could go out. I raised an eyebrow going through the clothes in my closet. I didn't know what to wear. God, it used to be so easy back in Sunnydale where there was only The Bronze and I only dressed in the highest fashions. Now I had no idea what kind of place I was going to end up in. If Faith was picking? Probably something filled with horny leather wearing freaks. Great. I'd stick out like a sore thumb. My fingertips brushed over a pair of Faith's red leather pants. Well....I would look really good in them....Who could deny the hotness of me? And if my sexy girlfriend could get away with wearing leather pants all the time then I guess I could too.

It wasn't until I had the pants on that I realized where my train of thought had led me. My sexy girlfriend? Is that what she was now? There was no denying the sexy part but girlfriend? Cordelia Chase with a girlfriend?!

"Oh God, Dennis....I think I need a drink." I said dryly before turning around and realizing that Dennis wasn't even helping me pick out clothes. God, spend a few weeks away from your ghost and he starts to slack off! I swear.

"Dennis..." I called out, stepping into the living room when I realized why Dennis had been so distracted. Wesley. Wesley was here, standing in my living room and for some reason I felt strangely self-conscious in Faith's leather pants.

"Wesley. Hi!" I smiled brightly, trying to cover it up.
 
 
Current Music: Drug Like- Action Action
 
 
 
visiongirl on November 28th, 2005 05:08 pm (UTC)
"Angel is the big brooder. I don't think he's helping her much." I said nonchalantly before really thinking about what I'd just said. Not that Faith wasn't getting help, or helping herself or whatever it was that she did. She really wanted to change. "I just mean it can't be good for her to sit around in that dark hotel with Angel being all quiet and sad all the time. I've been trying to get him out of his funk but it's not really working. You know. Doyle." The smile suddenly faded from my face really quickly as I gave Wesley a look before settling on the couch in front of the Scrabble board.

It didn't matter what I said or did, Wesley was still going to go running everytime the F word was mentioned. The F word being Faith obviously. I didn't know what to say or do to make it better, but I just wanted to keep all the people that I loved close together. I wanted us all to be able to work together and not have to worry about Wes having a coronary everytime that Faith walked into a room. I wasn't cut out for this. I was supposed to be the mean popular girl who later became an actress. I didn't know when I signed onto be a peacekeeper.

Besides, it wasn't like I didn't have my own issues with the whole being chained to a pipe for days. Days! Wesley was only there for a few hours but I was with Faith for days in that apartment. I guess the whole time I just couldn't help feeling like I was being punished for being so horrible to everyone in high school. I guess Wes didn't have the same experience that I did.

"Well, then I guess I'll just kick her out on the street and see what happens. You know, so we can all be comfy." I said sarcastically as I raised an eyebrow up at Wesley. "Think that will set her on her path to redemption? Listen, Wesley. I swear to you she won't come after you again. Why can't you believe me? I thought we were friends."

That whole experience bound the three of us together. I just couldn't help but think of it that way. Except Wesley desperately wanted to run in the opposite direction. I didn't get it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes angry S2_wes_pryce_ on November 29th, 2005 08:38 pm (UTC)
“No, I suppose not,” I nod, when she says Angel is a big…brooder. Well, he does have that sitting in a corner, lurking and looking glum down to a T. In fact, if I’d not known better I’d say he was a very life like statue at times. Of course it were the other times which were driving me up the wall. ‘Are you comfortable, what do you think of this, isn’t this great weapon, are you done with the books, how bad is it, I think you s should stay here while we go out to fight the demon’. God, was he like that to Cordelia as well? Or Faith?

I understand that he’s like that because he just lost that Doyle fellow, but really. And speaking of Doyle… The bright sunshine smile Cordelia had on her face just slides off it as though a dark could has covered the sun. I suppose it’s very apt, considering it’s suddenly very cold in the room here as well. Of course she misses this Doyle chap as well. Has she even really mourned his loss? I know Angel probably hasn’t, though I’m not sure if the world is ready for him to do so. Cordelia on the other hand ….

Sighing, I’m just about to join her on the sofa, when suddenly she decides to speak again. And it hurts what she says. Does she even realize how manipulative she sounds when she says that? Frowning, I give her a look as I step back from sitting down. I don’t like having words put in my mouth. I don’t like that she’s friends with Faith, yes. But I never said or told her she couldn’t be. What I think or do is my business and since when does she care about that anyway?

“I don’t recall having said anything that indicated you should do that, Cordelia. And I quite resent the fact that you just said that. I’ve tried my very best as well. I’ve even tried on the night she nearly tortured me to death. You honestly expect me to jump for joy that she’s seeking ‘redemption’ when I still can’t really feel my left arm?’ Hell, the girl can’t even bring herself to say she’s sorry. Because I honestly don’t think she is. “I know she’s trying, Cordy. And so am I. So why don’t you leave both of us deal with it on our own terms and stop pushing?”